Several week ago, I was struggling with an issue in my life that was really killing my spirit and affecting every aspect of my mood. I had a person in my life that was constantly using me as a “sounding board” for all their complaints, never was happy with how anyone did anything, and I was allowing this to turn me into the same type of person. During that time, Preacher preached on Proverbs 20:27 The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly. As he preached, I’m not even too sure what else he said because I was struck by that verse! The next morning during my Bible time, I looked it up again and some other verses about candles.
All I could picture in my head was the Lord standing there holding a candle to light the way and as the verse says my spirit was the candle.....Oh boy! I knew right then that there was only dark, ugliness coming from that candle because I had allowed someone else’s spirit to dampen mine, putting out the candle.
Matthew 5:14-16 says, Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. My brother drew my attention to the fact that whatever was wrong was showing all over my girls‘ faces. OUCH! My girls are normally very happy, even spirits...but because of the situation their spirits were also being crushed. The only way to fix the situation was to have some separation from the person who I was allowing to bring me and my house down.
Luke 8:16 says, ...lighted a candle...setteth it on a candlestick, that they which enter in may see the light. Luke 11:33 repeats this, No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light. There were a couple weeks in our lives at that time that you couldn’t have entered our home without feeling the oppression of our spirits! I could NOT allow that to go on any longer!!
A couple weeks ago in Sunday school, Mrs. Ogle taught on building our wall/spirit. I asked her how I should deal with this situation when someone in my life was constantly pick-axing my wall into rubble. She once again reminded me that I cannot fix someone else, I can only fix me. Therefore my only course of action was to make sure I was building my wall through scripture and prayer to be double the strength as other’s walls so that my wall was harder to tear down.
It’s hard to deal with some issues because of the relationship we have with the people causing the issues. When it’s an acquaintance or friend it’s easier to make a temporary separation to get your house back in order, but when it’s a family member who you are very close to it makes it a bit more painful and difficult....lots of guilt and hurt feelings can play with my mind and damage my spirit. Sometimes it takes some kind, respectful, brutal honesty to set things in order, and it always takes a lot of prayer pleading with the Lord that He deal with the situation so you don’t have to! He is much better at solving problems than we are!
I guess what struck me most about the candle is that John 8:12 says, Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. I realized that we only have that light/candle because we have Jesus, and our “Jesus candle” is the only light that some people will see. Because I was allowing my spirit candle to be extinguished by another person, I was preventing others from seeing Jesus!
So when I finally got down to the answer to my problem with this person...it was this...Proverbs 17:27 He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. I decided that most of the time we just talk too much! Not in a gossipy kind of way, but in a “I can solve all their problems if they would just listen to me and do it my way” kind of way. The way to keeping an excellent spirit that will shine brightly as the Lord’s candle is to use my words very sparingly and not to allow this person in my life to fill me up with their damaging words. It takes a bit more physical separation at times so that when we are together we have more to talk about than other peoples problems. It takes praying for those we wish would “do it our way.” It takes a little more braveness/boldness on my part to stand up when they start in and just stop the conversation.
It takes a lot of just being quiet! Proverbs 17:28 says Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. We don’t have to say all we know or think to sound wise! Sometimes our silence shows more! Ladies tend to talk talk talk talk talk talk....endlessly....about things that are better left alone! Every word that you say or that someone says to you affects your spirit for the good or for the bad. It is up to us to protect and build our spirit so that the candle of the Lord shines brightly to those around us!